Monday, January 21, 2013




Wait on the Lord for the right mate

Matthew 8:21-22 And another of his disciples said unto him.  Lord, suffer me to first go and bury my father.   But Jesus said unto him, follow me and let the DEAD BURY THE DEAD.

I tried to write this story so many times, and each time I had to stop.  It seemed that the Lord was given me the ending portion of it, and I couldn’t see how to begin it, until early one morning when in prayer the Lord said tell your story.  I wondered what story, and He said Dead Weight.  Immediately, I knew what He meant and tears started to fall from my eyes.  Why, because it meant truly sharing the most intimate and personal side of my life, and I wasn’t sure that I was ready to do that.  I had shared some of the things in my life before, but this part I didn’t think I was ready to open up and share this with anyone.

Then He reminded me of what He told me long ago “I told you to write so that they will know that I am real” How else will they know I am real if you don’t tell them about how I brought you through.  Tell them about the tears you shed to get to your place with Me. Tell them how you fought to stay with Me.  How else will you set them free if they can’t have someone to relate to, someone who knows what they are going through.  Tell them, tell them.”  

So here I am telling you what He wants you to know about carrying Dead Weight. 

Tears still fall from my eyes as I think of how much God loves His people, and how He wants you to be delivered and set free.  How much He cares about every part of your life.

My prayer: Help me Lord to stay before you as I write this.  Help me to tell our story so that it will minister and set the captives free.  My spirit is so heavy as I write this message.  Lord, I feel the pain of so many young ladies suffering.  They are crying out for an answer from You, when they already know the answer to their problem, but are afraid to let go.  Please move upon them as they read this message so that they can be delivered and set free.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen


It isn’t always easy trying to live the single life, especially if you are a Christian woman.  The enemy will constantly make you feel lonely, tempting you to do things you know in your heart are wrong, and cause you to block out things you don’t want to see.  The enemy does this because he wants you to lose your focus on the Lord; to lose sight of the blessings the Lord has promised you.  I pray my testimony will expose the enemy and the tricks he has been doing in your life and the lives of those you love.

My ‘dead weight’ came when I really wasn’t lonely (or so I thought).  I had survived an abusive marriage and was doing very well, raising 4 beautiful children.  My son was in his senior year, and it was almost graduation.  Then a former childhood sweetheart came back into my life.  It was like a dream come true.  All I could think about was the wonderful ministry we would have for the Lord.  I was a minister, and he was minister of music at his church.  I truly thought he was a Christian, who loved the Lord.  After all, this man was raised in church; I had no reason to think otherwise.  But there is a verse the Lord dropped in my spirit, I want you to remember, which I am sure you are familiar with it:

Matthew 7:15, “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.”  

As I said, it’s hard dating when you are a Christian, you’ve made a commitment to the Lord to live a holy life; and most young men who aren’t living the same lifestyle don’t understand that.  That’s why the dates I’d had only lasted through a few dinners and a couple of movies, if you know what I mean.  Men don’t like spending money if there is no return on their investment.

I stayed prayerful during the relationship, always asking the Lord to keep my eyes open and let nothing be hidden from me.  (Watch what you ask the Lord for – He surely will answer).  As the relationship developed, the Lord allowed me to see this young man was not a Christian at all.  Yes, he went to church, as I said  he was a minister of music, and yes; he could sing until the Holy Spirit moved, but there was no anointing, it was all a show.  It was not coming from the Lord.

At this point, I should have moved on, right?  No, I didn’t – this was my childhood sweetheart, the one that got away; surely, God could change him.  After all, He’s God and can do anything.  So I started saying things like.  “Lord, I know we can change him,” “Lord, if you help me, we can work this out,” “Lord, there are a lot of people out there a lot worse than him,” “Lord; I have four kids, and you know we need a man in the house,” “Can’t you change him?”  It didn’t matter that the Lord promised to be a Father to my kids, and we had been doing alright.  I wanted this man fixed.  Fix him Jesus, Fix him.

God’s love is so awesome, and He watches over His Word to perform it.  He reminded me of Psalm 37:4-5: Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

When He said that He meant just that.  You see ladies this young man had always been the one that slipped through my fingers.  Therefore, the desire to have him back in my life was oh so strong in my heart; the Lord was now honoring it.  In my heart, I thought I had to have this man.  Did you hear what I said?  Read it again and watch what desires you have in your heart.  He was in my heart, and if anyone was delighting themselves in the Lord you better believe I was doing it 24/7.  I woke up with Jesus on my mind.  His name was the last name on my lips before I fell asleep at night.  HE IS everything.

So this relationship went on for a while, and each time I would come home asking myself, “When is this young man going to get it together?”  I began to feel drained and frustrated after an evening out with him.  Could that have been a sign?  If it was, I ignored it.  The young man-made some changes, so, of course; I started feeling better about things, believing God was working things out for me.  However, it seemed for each good change he made, several more things popped up.  I found myself constantly talking to the Lord about this relationship and overlooking all the hurt I felt on the inside.  I kept telling myself, “This has to work; all my friends know I’m dating this man.”  I told everyone about this childhood sweetheart being back in my life.  It was a dream come true, wasn’t it?  No, it was a nightmare that I couldn’t, or didn’t want to, wake up from.

Still we dated, and the Lord allowed me to see this man lying, cheating his friends, and even lying to his pastor.  I cried and cried, “God, what is taking you so long?”  Then finally God said, “Enough.”  (Now, what I did next is start making excuses for my stupidity so you don’t do the same thing, please pay attention).
Understand, I had only been in ministry for a year when this relationship happened; I had a lot to learn about dreams and interpreting them, and God started teaching me quickly, so quickly sometimes it scared me.  When the first dream about a dead body happened, it took a while for me to fully understand what it meant.  Yet, I still began to tell the Lord what He needed to do to fix this young man.  Yes, you heard me right; I was telling the Lord what He needed to do.  It’s a wonder, He let me live.

I began to tell the Lord, “Father, you parted the Red Sea; I know you can change him.”  “Lord you raised the dead, surely this should be a piece of cake for you” Isn’t it crazy the things we say to the Lord?  I just couldn’t figure out why God wouldn’t change this man.  All the praying in the world wasn’t moving Him.


Then, one night I remember being so tired when I went to bed that night (we lived in different cities, and I was tired from the drive back home), so tired that I actually fell asleep praying in bed.  I had what was to be, the first of many dreams.  In this dream, I was driving around with this dead body from town to town.  I couldn’t seem to get rid of this body.  People started asking, “Girl; you still got that dead body with you?  When are you going to bury it and move on?”  I couldn’t explain why I had the dead body; why it was still there, occupying the seat next to me.  I woke up sweating; trying to figure out why I was driving around a dead body.  I cried, “Lord, please help me to understand.”  Now some of you may say that you could have interpreted what He was saying, but I didn’t.  I stayed before the Lord concerning the dream, I needed to hear from Him and soon.  The dream really had me scared.

The next Sunday while driving my friend home from church, I looked over at him realized, “Oh my Lord… he is the dead body.”  When I looked at him; he looked dead to me.  I went home, cried, and prayed until I fell asleep.  I could hear the Lord say: Let the dead bury the dead and follow me.
Two days later, I got a call from him telling me there was a death in his family.  The Word came again to me in another dream: I told you to let the dead bury the dead, and you follow me.  Later, that same week he called me again, this time a very close friend of his had died.  Dead Weight.
We continued to date (Go ahead and laugh; it’s funny now, but it sure wasn’t then), not sure how I was going to break this thing off, but I knew it had to happen.  I am so thankful that God didn’t give up on me, because if He had… let’s not think about that.


In spite of those messages from the Lord, I was still trying to make things work; trying to get him to get his life right with the Lord.  Finally, God spoke on this relationship for the final time.  Now let me tell you something, you know when God has had enough of your foolishness; and you know when it’s His final warning.  He spoke this time it was so clear; it chilled my very spirit:

I told you to let the dead bury the dead.  If you are going to follow Me, you can’t bring the dead.  I don’t dabble in the dead, and neither will you.  I will not allow you to have his blood on your hands.  I have something new for you, if you wait on Me.  I only want the good and perfect for you because I chose you, and I love you.  You can’t go back to the past and try to relive it.  You must let go and move forth.  Let the dead bury the dead and follow Me.”  

Then He asked me some questions: “Is he seeking My face as you are?  Is he walking upright before Me, Am I his desire?

Of course, my answer to all these questions was “NO.”  God said to me my hands would be His hands, so therefore I knew I didn’t want this young man’s blood on my hands.  I knew what I had to do.  Was it easy?  No, it wasn’t.  But I feared and loved God too much to continue.  I had gone through too much to lose what I had with the Lord.  No man is worth the love of God.

I let my friends know because they were planning my wedding; a wedding I felt I had waited for a lifetime for.  I thank God for those friends because they all understood.  They only wanted the best for me, and it was clear to them that he wasn’t.  True friends are rare, if you have them cherish them and don’t take them for granted.

After the relationship ended, I felt disappointed (with myself and with him), frustrated and drained; so drained I became weary and tired, telling the Lord I couldn’t go on.  I felt the life had been sucked out of me, and I just wanted to go away.  It’s amazing what a bad relationship will do to you.  That’s when the Lord blessed me with another dream (I have since learned to appreciate my dreams).


In this dream, I stopped to rest and sat down under a tree.  I had my head bowed down, wanting the Lord to come and take me away.  With tears running down my face, I sat there telling the Lord that I was tired; I felt like such a failure; I was so discouraged I just couldn’t go any further.  I said, “Lord, just leave me here to die.”  (Again isn’t it amazing what a bad relationship will do to you?).  I looked up and there was the most beautiful lady I had ever seen.  Her face glowed brighter than anything you can imagine.  She came over and said, “God told me to tell you He is working it out for you don’t give up now, just hold on and be patient, He is working it out.”  The tears continued to flow from my eyes as I began to thank the Lord for loving me so much.  When I could finally see through the tears, she was gone.

I woke up with tears still in my eyes thinking how much God cared for me.  In spite of my disobedience, and even though I had closed my eyes to what I knew was right, He still forgave me and came to see about me.  He allowed me the chance to repent for my mistakes and healed my heart.  When I got up the next morning, the hurt, and pain that was in my heart was gone.  As long as you have breath in your body it’s never too late to cry out to the Lord and seek His forgiveness.

1 John 1:9 (NKJ) If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 So there you have my story of DEAD WEIGHT.  What is yours?  Ask yourself some questions:
  • Does he say he loves you and will do anything for you, yet he wants to live with you and not marry you?  He’s getting all the luxuries, while you don’t have any benefits.  He could be DEAD WEIGHT.  
  • He says he loves you and will do anything for you, yet he won’t hold a steady job to help you pay the bills.  He could be DEAD WEIGHT.
  • He says he loves you and will do anything for you, yet here you are again trying to explain your black eye.  He could be DEAD WEIGHT.
  • He says he loves you and will do anything for you, yet here it is 12:00am and you have no idea where he is, or who he’s with.  He could be DEAD WEIGHT.
What are you afraid of?  Are you afraid if you get rid of that dead weight that you can’t make it alone?  I made it, and I wasn’t alone.  God kept His Word.  He promised He would never leave me, nor forsake me; He never left me alone.  You can make it if you believe in God; believe in yourself.

1 Peter 5:7 (NKJ) Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.  
God doesn’t want you to have just anyone in your life.  You have come too far to settle for just anything or anyone.  You have suffered too much for your walk with the Lord.  Stop settling for a piece of a man.  Most of the time you don’t know what piece you have; and who’s got the other piece, and what they did with your piece before they gave it back to you.  DEAD WEIGHT

God wants only good and perfect for His children.  Allow Him to give you His best.  No longer will you have to PUT UP with what you think is love.  Be that virtuous woman He has called you to be.  If you let Him, God will put out His angels to bring you that perfect love that you so richly deserve.  You deserve a love that will be with you for better or worse, in sickness and health, until death do you apart.

I hear the Lord saying: “Cry it out before Me this day, and it will never hurt you again.  Cry it out and feel My love.  I cry when you cry.  I don’t want you to be hurt.  I long to hold you close and wipe away your tears.  Allow Me to give you all you need, allow Me to give you My best.  Let the dead bury the dead and follow Me.”  

You see some of you right now could be in a “DEAD WEIGHT” relationship.  You might be dating, or you might be married and you are holding on because of the fear of letting go.  What do I mean?  You fear the unknown.  You know what you have there is safe.

Let’s say you are in a “DEAD WEIGHT” marriage.  God has clearly shown you both physically and spiritually that your spouse has been unfaithful, not just once but so many times you don’t even want to talk about it.  But here you are old soldiers still holding on afraid to let go.  You are afraid of the unknown.  You know in your heart what you have at home is bad.  You go to bed alone every night, and somewhere around midnight he comes home, (except on Sundays; that day is all yours you lucky girl) with the same old tired excuse “he’s been working late,” etc.  Is that what you want?  Is this the marriage that you stood before the Lord and vowed for better or worse?  Ok, you have the worse under control.  Where is the better?  Now I am not one to tell you to leave your spouse,  but I will tell you to Take your hands off him and surrender him to Jesus!

You see ladies; it’s not that you did anything wrong.  No, it’s not that at all.  Some men just don’t know how to appreciate the love of a good woman.  Some men are used to being with the type of women who cuss, lie to them, cheat on them, and thrown their money away.  And when they finally get a good woman they don’t know how to appreciate her, because they are used to real love.  Oh it may last for a little while, but unless they have really surrendered unto the Lord, they revert back to what they are used to being around.

Let’s read what Proverbs 26:11 says about this:  As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. 

This verse is also quoted in 2 Peter 2:22, where it refers to backsliders going back into sin: But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again;

Now ladies, I am not calling your man a dog; I am only quoting what it says in the Word.  So do you see what happens here?  If they aren’t being true to the Lord, they aren’t being true to you.  Yep, you got it; the women they are cheating on you with are women they are used to being around.  It’s their “emotional baggage they forgot to get rid of”, they didn’t allow themselves time to heal between relationships before starting a new one (You see ladies we aren’t the only ones who can’t stand to be alone, but I think we handle it a little better.  I’m just saying).   So now back to the man, why don’t you set them free, and release them to the Lord?

Isn’t it time you ask yourself those same “DEAD WEIGHT” questions we talked about?  How long are you going to wonder what kind of leftover love he is bringing home to you?  God desires that you have the very best and the very best shouldn’t be coming in around midnight, lying about where they have been, not paying the bills, smelling like another woman, and giving you something that it’s going to take Jesus to cure.  God desires better for His treasures.

Is it time for you to get rid of your “DEAD WEIGHT?”

Let me share a story I heard with you:

There is a story about a gentleman who was riding along in his car, saw a man carrying a heavy pack, and asked him if he would like a ride.  “Yes.  Thank you, sir.  The man got in the car but kept his pack on his back while riding.  The gentleman asked why he didn’t take the pack off his back and set it down.  The man replied “Sir you were kind enough to give me a ride, and I didn’t want to impose on your good nature, so thought I should carry the pack myself” “Well,” said the gentleman; it makes no difference to me whether you carry the pack on your back or set it down, for I am carrying you and the pack.  You might as well unstrap it and set it down.  Get rid of the DEAD WEIGHT.

So it is with the Lord, unstrap it; you gave your burdens to the Lord, why do you insist on carrying around that DEAD WEIGHT?

I will close with this message which I may have said before.  He doesn’t want you to have just anyone in your life.  Have you come too far to settle for just anything?  You don’t have to settle for just anyone.  Allow Him to prepare that mate for you.  Aren’t you tired of giving too much of yourself to keep a mate?  Don’t you want a love that will be with you for better or worse, in sickness and health, until death do you apart?  Then get a Love life with the Lord and everything else will follow.

I pray my “DEAD WEIGHT” testimony will cause you to hunger after God for guidance in your relationships, and that it has made you stronger and wiser.  Remember, God has someone special planned just for you, and you don’t have to search for it.  Relax and trust in the Lord, and watch Him bring you the love you desire into your life.  He will do it.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please let us know how much this site has blessed you.