Monday, January 14, 2013



Proverbs 18:22 “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the Lord” (NLT)

Normally, when we read Proverbs 18:22, it’s usually quoted in reference to the men, but the Lord has chosen it this time to address an issue with the ladies:

Stop looking for a man 

I continue to hear ladies talk about “looking for a good man” or “trying to find a husband.”  While I confess that I don’t know every scripture in the bible, my studies thus far haven’t revealed a verse that says, “A woman who finds a man finds a good thing.”  Yet there are many women today doing exactly that, looking for a man.  Chasing a man they just met simply because they can’t handle spending some time alone.  If you can’t stand being alone with yourself, then why do you think someone else will be able to?  And how the heck can you expect a man to have respect for you, when you aren’t showing respect for yourself when you chase after them?

Ladies, God created man before He created woman.  He created you after everything else was done.  He said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so He created you to be a helpmate for man, to be a treasure, not a treasure hunter.  All things were in place when you were formed.  You didn’t have to go out and do anything.  God already took care of it for you.  So why would God change things now and tell you to go out and find a husband?  He didn’t, He said the man who finds a wife, finds a treasure.

I want to believe that women are so precious to the Lord that He saved us for last.  Yes, ladies I love to say God saved His best work, His masterpiece for last (that’s what I say).  He created us for man so that man would not be alone.  And look at how He special He created us.  He could have easily reached down and formed us out of the same dust in which He used to create man.  But no, God had something special planned for us.

He put man to sleep, and not just a regular sleep but a deep sleep.  So man wouldn’t interfere with what He was doing by putting his two cents in and mess things up.  Then the Lord took a rib from man and He carefully formed woman.  Man didn’t need to see how magnificently God wove together all your beautiful parts.  He wanted man to discover the treasure He had hidden inside of you.  I believe that’s why everything else was in place before women were created.  God knew man would need time to understand the beautiful treasure He had created just for him.

Stop looking and be found – CHAT ROOMS

There are ads and dating services that young ladies are advertising on getting a mate.  Young ladies are actually meeting men in chat room, and then traveling to whatever city or state they are in to meet them.  Do you know how dangerous this is?  Why are you desperate to meet a man?  Why don’t you give the man a chance to find you?  Don’t you understand by putting everything out there first you are establishing the type of woman you are?  Why then do you act so surprised when he doesn’t treat you like a lady?  Your actions told him that you weren’t.  Your actions told him what you were after.  When you drove or flew all the way across the state (or country) to meet him, surely you didn’t come all that way for nothing.  He spent good money on that dinner, and the hotel room, and you know most men want something in return for their investment.

Some of these sites now suggest that “maybe the Lord is waiting for you to make that next move,” so you can start using their sites to search for a man.  Now I do believe the statement “God is waiting for you to make that next move” is a true statement.  However, I believe the next move God is waiting for is a closer relationship with Him.  He wants us to build an intimate relationship with Him first, and then He will bring that love you desire into your life.

He made this very clear when He said:

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Therefore, I believe your next step should be to seek Him first.  Surrender your life to Him and allow Him to get you ready to receive the love you so desire to have in your life.

If you get your relationship right with God first you won’t have to play all those tricks and love games to get a man.  If you take  the time to get it right with Him first, I believe the Lord will bring such a change in your life the love you desire will become spiritually and physically attracted to you.  Who knows he may just come walking up to your home and ring your doorbell one day.  He might be the next person who sells you a car or a house.  There is no telling where the love you desire could be waiting for you.

Stop looking and be found…professional gatherings

Now let’s discuss the ladies who attend the “after hours professional” gatherings in hopes of landing “Mr. Right” These women dress up, get their hair and nails done to attend a function they don’t know anything about simply because they have heard professional men will be there.  It doesn’t matter to them how his relationship with the Lord is, just as long as he is a professional man.  That’s exactly what they will get a professional man.  A professional “what” only the Lord knows.  You see ladies while you are all dressed up in an outfit (that some of you will be returning the next day), this same professional man you are chasing is probably doing the same thing.  Oh yeah, he is all dressed up in his suit (which might be a rental), because he too was told that there will be professional women there, and he is looking for someone to take care of him, just like you are.  Didn’t know that did you?

Oh yes, they are out there.  You see in this modern world we live in we have some men who don’t mind being Mr. Moms.  A man once told me he felt that after all he had gone through in his previous marriage; he deserved a break from working.  Translation, now that God had blessed him with a good woman he didn’t believe he needed to work for a while.  What was wrong with a woman taking care of him?  Is this how a man should tell the Lord thank you after He delivers him from a bad marriage, and He blesses him with a good woman?  This type of man needs a lot of emotional and spiritual healing which only the Lord can provide.  Remember ladies, the word of God says “if any did not work, neither should he eat.  2 Thessalonians 3:10.  However, if you and your man have decided you are ok with him staying home and keeping house while you work, that is your thing.  But let the agreement be mutual, not his laziness.
This is why I say, while you are out there looking for a man to take care of you, he might be doing the same thing.  Make sure you can take care of yourself.

Stop looking and be found ….AT CHURCH

Now ladies, let’s not forget the “good sistas” who attend church in their too short, too tight, and too low-cut dresses, in hopes of enticing the men in the church (clergy included).  Ladies, you need to know that every man that says, “AMEN, isn’t “A MAN” that you need in your life.  Just because they are going to church doesn’t mean they are Christians, and that they love the Lord.  Some (and I say some) of these same men that you are trying to entice are there for the same reason you are there.  They have been told that they can find a “good clean girl” in church.  You see you have got to resist the charm and the external appearance of these seemingly together brothers who claim to love the Lord, but are only there to find women for all the wrong reasons.  What happened to going to church to praise and worship the Lord?  Isn’t that what we are supposed to be doing?  Jesus Christ shed His blood for the church, not so you can have a place to socialize and meet a man.

Ladies, you are basing your selection of the man of your dreams on all the wrong criteria.  You are choosing a man based on status, charm, physical, and let us not forget his financial status.  No I am not telling you that you must marry a B.U.D.  What is a B.U.D.?  Well, that’s someone who’s BROKE, UNDESIRABLE AND DUMBYou shouldn’t be selecting a mate based on those qualities alone.  All the things mentioned will come into play in entering a relationship, but the deciding factor should be “how is his relationship with the Lord”.  Ladies that is the same question that I am asking you, “How is your relationship with the Lord?”  You have been praying and asking the Lord to send you a husband, but are you ready for the Lord to bring that special someone in your life?  Do you?  Is your ready for your new love?  Is your house in order?
You must be honest with yourself about your walk with the Lord.  If you can’t be honest with yourself, then you are not ready for the Lord to bless you with a husband.  You see if you have been looking for a man, then you are not ready for the Lord to bless you with a husband.  Because if you want a husband, the first thing you shouldn’t do is look for one.  The first thing you should do is seek a closer relationship with the Lord by seeking His Kingdom first.

Read what the Word says:

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Instead of looking for a husband, continuously study God’s word and pray that while He has you hidden away, He’s developing you into the kind of woman who will attract the perfect love God has created for you.  Pray that He will bring you into a place of laughter, love, and fresh intimacy with Him.  Pray that He will teach you how to dwell within His presence each day with joy and delight so that you will be transformed into a different person.  Ask Him to teach you how to wake up in His fresh anointing every single day so that you will have seasons after seasons of learning how to live in His fragrant presence.

God knows your heart’s desires, and He has promised to bring what you have asked for to pass if you trust Him to do it.  His word says:

Psalm 37:4-5 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Did you read what His words said?  You don’t have to go looking; He has promised to bring him to you.  All He asks is that you do is SEEK Him, DELIGHT yourself in Him, and COMMIT what you have asked to Him, then TRUST Him, to bring your husband to you.  He never said for you to go looking, He said He would bring Him to you.  Let’s reiterate what He said:

1. Seek Him firstGet into the word of the Lord.  Seek God about what you need, seek His face.  God wants you to take time and commune with Him about all your needs so talk to Him about your desire to have a husband in your life.

2. Delight yourself in HimGet excited about what God is getting ready to do in your life.  Thank Him in advance.  Get into a spirit of praise and thanksgiving.  I get excited when I think about my next relationship.  Oh my!!

3. CommitGive this need to Him.  Yes, this is a need.  The Lord is concerned about every area of your life.  Don’t allow the enemy to make you think that you shouldn’t be talking to God about this.  So you need to commit it to Him.

4. Trust Him Place your concerns in His hands knowing that Jesus himself is interceding for you.  He is taking your request before His Father, and He is coming back with your answer.  Trust Him with it.

5. And He will bring it to pass - Allow the Lord to bring you the husband He has chosen for you.

Stop looking and be found 

Ladies, God wants you to have the best; He only wants good and perfect for His treasure.  Yes, that’s right God calls you His treasure.  I know the King James Version says, a good thing”, but for our talk today “treasure” is more fitting, because treasure is usually hidden.  Have you ever seen a treasure looking for someone to find them?  No, treasures are usually hidden, tucked away, in a secret place, waiting for the right person to come along and find them.

Ladies, sometimes we have our treasures all out in the open, if you know what I mean?  I know our bodies are a beautiful thing, but we don’t always respect our bodies the way we should.  There just doesn’t seem to be an easy way to say this, ladies, we don’t always dress like we are the treasure God created us to be.  A treasure is not going around saying, “Come and get with this” or “You don’t know what you are missing.”  No a treasure is hidden, waiting to be found.  Treasures don’t go looking for those that would own them, but treasures are found by those worthy of caring for them, and can appreciate their true value.  God says in Proverbs 31:10 that you are worth more than rubies.

Who can find a virtuous woman?  For her price is far above rubies.  (Proverbs 31:10) 

Ladies, do you know your own value?  If you don’t, stop and take some time to RESPECT, APPRECIATE AND PLEASE (RAP), yourself first, nobody else will.  Know who you are in the Lord first, before you try to bring someone else into your life.  Learn to be happy (pleased) with yourself first, and then you will be happy with the mate God sends you.  Learn to appreciate the little specials He gives you to take care of, and then you will rejoice when the big ticket (your husband) item comes.

So let’s reflect on what you need to do for yourself:

R – Respect Yourself – If you don’t respect yourself no one else will.  Have a high opinion of yourself (yes you should)
A – Appreciate Yourself and be grateful for the way the unique way the Lord has created you.  You are the Designer’s Original.
P – Please Yourself.  It is important for you to learn to be happy with yourself before you bring someone else into your life.

Matthew 25:21 Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
No Ladies, God is not going to make you ruler over your husband.  Stop that!  You understand what I am saying to you.  If you are faithful over the few things He asks you to do (you know seek, delight, commit, and trust), then He will give you the big thing that you have asked Him for.


Ladies, you should be tucked away (so-to-speak, you know hidden treasure) while God works on you and makes you so complete in Him, that you will be emotionally, spiritually, and mentally ready when your intended husband finds you.  So prepare yourself for a husband by waiting (not looking) patiently on the Lord to do His work in you His way and in His time.

Now don’t sit around looking tore up from the floor up while God has you hidden away.  You can still look beautiful and ‘OUTSTANDING while you are allowing the Lord to make you the “Bomb,” and shaping and molding you into His “Brick House”; so that you can be the “bad Mama Jamma that God wants you to be for your husband.

So ladies in closing please don’t marry the wrong man because you don’t want to wait on the Lord.  If you are patient, you will meet the one whom your soul loves.  Ladies, one last thing you must ask yourself, are you walking in the will of God by running after a man?  Is that truly what God has planned for your life?

Hear what the Lord is saying to you:

Why do you look to others for what you need?  Didn’t I tell you I would supply your every need according to My riches in Glory?  I meant every need.  Didn’t you believe Me?  Then why do you continue to look to others to supply your needs? 

You are My righteous one; you don’t have to beg them.  The righteous will never be forsaken; The righteous will never have to beg.    

Yet you go to them and allow them to use you.  They don’t know what you need, I do I understand what you need; I know what you are feeling Allow Me to bring you what you need.  I have not forsaken you; I won’t forsake you.

I promise to supply your every need.  What you need they can’t supply.  Oh they may try, but they will fail you.  They will forsake you; I will never forsake you.  

You’ve come too far to settle for just anything.  I only want good and perfect for you let Me give you My best.

Will you wait for Me?  I waited for you.

Stop looking and be found! 

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